Friday, August 28, 2009

I guess it's Friday

It's incredible how irrelevant the day of the week is when I'm not working. I guarantee you tomorrow won't be any different from the other days this week, except other people won't be at work. This is probably what it feels like to be retired. It's like the world is at my fingertips; I have no obligations. Except of course for the five IV infusions daily, but I would take this life any day.

Right now I'm watching the Braves play the Philles. I'm pretty confident we're going to win tonight even though we're losing right now. We tend to play well against good teams and then lose to the worst teams in each division. I got so frustrated earlier this weekend that I almost retired for the baseball season as well.

I had two goals for the night - 1) go to Coldstone, 2) win the lottery. Unfortunately it looks like neither is going to happen. I was too lazy to go get ice cream, which is an oxymoron in itself. I also just didn't really have the passion to win the lottery tonight. I mean, if someone handed me a ticket, I'd be down with that, but it's not worth leaving the house. I guess $333 million isn't worth leaving the house to me.

Sometimes I want to hit Ryan Howard in the face.

Well, it's rainy around here lately and I kinda like it, probably because I have nowhere to be. I love listening to the rain!

I guess I'll go shoot a huge syringe into my arm and try not to break the television if the Braves keep this up.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Home sweet home

Well, I came home Monday afternoon. My mom and I celebrated my coming home by going to El Toro for dinner. Unfortunately, I just didn't have the stamina I usually have. These IV antibiotics do a number to your appetite. Believe it or not, I lost almost 5 pounds in the hospital. That's incredible considering how short my stay was. It kind of makes sense, though, because if the IV antibiotics didn't cause me to lose my appetite, the overabundance of gravy would/did.

I was really unproductive yesterday. I did go to Steak and Shake, though, so I can't deem the entire day a waste. I spent a decent bit of time cleaning my room, too. I left it a total mess in the shenanigans leading up to the hospital, so there was a lot of damage to undo.

Today was more productive by far. I got up just before 7:00 a.m. for my first IV, and then got up for good at 9:00 a.m. I went to the fitness center at my complex and did five miles on the treadmill. I averaged 12 minutes per mile, so I spent about half of the time walking and half running. I'd say that's pretty impressive, although I'm already kinda sore. During my time in the hospital, I may have walked a total of half of a mile, all back and forth between using the restroom and pacing in my room.

Then I went to the pool for a while. It was pretty hot outside. I enjoyed myself reading Sein Language by Jerry Seinfeld. This is making me laugh out loud more than any other book I've read. I appreciate his sense of humor. I was just nibbling on Goldfish and giggling at the pool. Much like a small child.

Well, this intravenous drug user is going to wander around the house with no rhyme or reason.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Day 5: Do we need to change your bed?

WHAT A DAY!

Well, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and when I was walking back to bed, there was a gigantic roach walking up the edge of a cabinet. I almost flipped out and stood there for a few minutes strategizing as he made his way up the cabinet. I had one of two options... 1) stay up all night and panic, 2) call the nurse to kill him. So, I called the nurse. She walked in and I informed her of his locale.

At this point, he had walked into a box of sterile gloves. Oh, the irony. So, I let the nurse know that the roach was making a home inside the box of sterile gloves and she began investigating. She was banging those glove boxes around waiting for him to scurry out. I knew he appeared when she let out a shriek and she turned on the water to begin drowning him. She had gloves on and ended up getting a paper towel and grabbing him, turning her glove inside out. So, she carried his half-drowned carcass out in a blue glove, similar to the way a dog's owner carries its feces.

I had a lot of visitors today, so I'm pretty exhausted. It was fun, though. Tiring, but fun. I know some awesome people.

Right as I finished up dinner, I got up to throw a styrofoam cup of water away. I somehow managed to kick the cup out of my hand getting out of bed, so the bed and my pants got soaked. I had to call the nurse and tell her I wet the bed and she came to rescue me with new sheets. She asked what happened and I told her I kicked a cup of water out of my hand. That honestly takes talent.

Other than that, things have been pretty low-key. I've just been pretty tired. Can you imagine being in the same 12 x 18 ft. room for three days without leaving? I haven't left since I got an ultrasound on Thursday. Gee! I guess this is what jail feels like.

Well, I guess I'll go pace some in my cell.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Day 4: Oh yeah, how are your lungs?

So, I woke up in pain again today, but it was in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. It literally hurt to move my head. The doctors have been so busy thinking about all of these side issues that we really haven't thought much about my lungs. I feel as good as I did lungwise before I came here, so that's good since we're fighting different issues now. This is precisely why I don't like going on IV antibiotics. My body just doesn't want them and it's as simple as that.

The good news is that, as the day has progressed, I've been feeling better and better in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. I am finally sitting here not in pain for the first time since Thursday morning. Awesome!

I watched the Braves win tonight, so that was enjoyable. I also got a copy of The Big Lebowski to watch, so that should be fun. I might watch it as I'm getting ready for bed tonight. Why do I say getting ready for bed like I haven't been in bed for 4 days now? Good question.

I had a smoothie for lunch today because lunch was, and I quote my mom, "Meatloaf with some kind of salsa on it." Yeah, I totally passed on that. I don't even know that I touched the lunch tray, to be completely honest. Dinner was better, though. It was salmon. I had some salmon and a bite or two of Jell-O. Homemade Jell-O is much better than Snack Pack Jell-O.

Today was relatively calm, but tomorrow seems like it might be a packed house. A lot of folks want to visit. I hope it doesn't get too crowded because I've been pretty pooped lately on these medications and what not.

Well, I have 24 minutes left on this IV and then I'll see where the night takes me...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Day 3: I drink a lot of chocolate milk

Welcome to Day 3 - another painful day with the PICC line. I woke up in severe pain and it really didn't subside any throughout the day. I was doped up, though, so I was able to sleep through most of it.

Some work friends visited today and brought STEAK NACHOS from Willy's! Even though I was hovering over the toilet about to vomit an hour before they got here, I worked up an appetite in no time. They had to gown- and glove-up for infection control, so it was funny to watch them all eat in those goofy outfits. I, on the other hand, got to eat in pajamas. We had a good time!

One of the doctors worked a ridiculously long shift... like 24 hours at least. I asked him how he stayed up so late and he said he drinks a lot of chocolate milk. From that point on, I gave him a hard time about how rowdy he gets drinking chocolate milk.

I also got the largest gift bag ever today. It's literally probably two feet wide and almost as tall. I laugh when I see it because it's so gigantic. It was filled with all kinds of goodies... gummy bears, a lint roller, a neck pillow, a blanket, a farting keychain, a sticky hand, etc. Gosh, that bag is hilariously large.

Rumor has it that I'll probably go home on Monday. I'm pretty glad about that, but it means I'll administer the IVs myself for two weeks instead of having it as someone else's responsibility. It's a double-edged sword.

There was a thunderstorm tonight, so that was fun to watch.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Day 2: Well, you have been running your mouth a lot

I slept surprisingly well last night, considering I'm in the hospital. An oxygen tank got knocked over in the hallway during the night and that woke me up like a mild earthquake might. For some reason, on this floor, it's necessary to come get blood from me at 4:40 a.m., so there's nothing like a needle going into your arm when you're half asleep. When the nurse came to hook me up for my 6:00 a.m. IV, I told him that my mouth and tongue were numb. With a straight face, he said, "Well, you have been running your mouth a lot. Do you think that has anything to do with it?" I laughed and told him I was also very tired....of him. Just kidding, though; he's a favorite!

I think it's safe to classify my PICC line placement as a disaster. In fact, I'm typing lefthanded because my right arm is out of commission. The actual PICC placement didn't hurt any more than I remember, but it didn't take long for me to realize something was wrong. I don't know if it was the excessive blood or the fact that my entire arm was throbbing. It didn't take long for me to start taking narcotics. The pain was truly unbearable and the pain medication really didn't help much. They ended up sending me down to do an ultrasound to see if there were any blood clots near the PICC line. Looks like it's just bleeding internally. WOOHOOO!

Some friends came by and brought some neat presents, most of which involved dinosaurs! I got these awesome dinosaur figurines that roar. I was thinking it would be fun to page the nurses' station and have one of the dinosaurs roar into the speaker. Perhaps tomorrow. I also got some socks that say SOCK IT TO ME BABY on them! They make me feel so alive. I also got the largest carton of Goldfish ever created. It's gigantic. There were a lot of other cute goodies, too, including some candy, a coloring book, and disposable razors. I got an enormous tube of Dr. Pepper flavored LipSmackers and I keep putting it on, although it is challenging because it is so large.

Honestly, I was so doped up that I'm trying to finish this later, but the entire day was a blur. Thank you, Lortab.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Day 1: Do you know why you're here?

Today has been an eventful day at the hospital. I got here at 8:00 a.m. like planned, and the person at registration was extremely confused. She asked if I was supposed to have come yesterday, and I told her that I specifically planned to come at 8:00 a.m. on 8/19, which was why I preregistered on the telephone yesterday. After waiting for 45 minutes in a waiting room, someone came to wheel me to a temporary room while my room floor was being waxed. That was extremely pertinent to get done.

When I was in the temporary room, everyone seemed like they had no idea where I came from, but I could have sworn we made this arrangement last Friday. Finally, at one point, a lady asked if I knew what doctor admitted me. Then, she literally asked, "Do you know why you're here?" I mean, do I look like an idiot? Of course I know why I packed my bags and came to the hospital. There was some kind of miscommunication (always), and they finally realized who I was. Then, a lady with a super-thick accent came in and was telling me she didn't expect me to be so cute. I guess my chart was ugly or something.

Fast-forward a few hours and I've gotten situated in my temporarily permanent room. A guy came to get me in a wheelchair to take me down to x-rays. On the way down, he yawned and I jokingly told him not to fall asleep on me. Then, he told me how he went out for his birthday the night before; they enjoyed Mexican food and the strip club. Good to know. So, I'm down there patiently waiting for my x-ray, decked out in protective gear to keep me from getting sick from anyone, but actually looking deathly contagious. A woman came out looking for Mr. Dotson and started trying to wheel a man away. I was telling her it was me and she proceeded to call this man Mr. Dotson. He had been groaning for the last ten minutes and grunted out that he wasn't Mr. Dotson. I continued to tell her she was looking for me and she forcefully tried to take the guy with her. Finally, on the 332532nd try, she realized that I was the person she was referring to as Mr. Dotson. Then she apologized about 7 times, like I think I actually look like a man. A very small, petite man with long hair and a female voice. I guess she didn't expect me to be so cute, either.

Other than that, nothing too exciting has happened. My mom went down to the food court and got me some legitimate food. I enjoyed some chicken tenders and onion rings. Mmm, healthy!

Wow, remind me knock on wood next time I say nothing exciting has happened. Right after I typed that they started yelling about a nonbreather in the room next to me and calling in code over the intercom. Perhaps I won't say that again, as there are about a million people out in the hall panicking now.

It's been a little while - a chaotic while - but my neighbor got taken to ICU. Well, I'm almost done with this medicine and can't wait to go to sleep. Right as I typed that, the machine beeped to indicate I am finished. I feel like I have super-powers right now. I want a cheese tray. Nope, didn't happen.

BEDTIME!!!!!!

Club Med

Well, GEE! Where to start! First things first, I am writing from the hospital. It's not particularly exciting, but sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do. So, let's give a synopsis of the last forever...

Friday - I hit up the doctor on Friday and that apparently went really well... just kidding. Anyway, forget about the doctor and just know that I made an effort to have a great time until checking in here today. Friday night I went to the Bravos and experienced my first loss of the season because Soriano is pathetic. I don't care if he reads this. I said it. Now I'm 7-1, but I still impress myself.

Saturday - I went rafting down the Chattahoochee. It was absolutely hilarious. Gosh, we had a lot of fun! We were running so late that we ended up bringing knockoff Lunchables to eat on the river. The river was so much fun that I had literally no energy to go anywhere on Saturday night. But holy Shoot the Hooch! I'm already excited to do it again.

Sunday - I went and saw Julie and Julia with my mom. I liked it! It could have been more fast-paced, but it was a quality movie. I wanted to go to the Braves game Sunday night, but I was so exhausted. I could have napped forever and still gotten there before it started with the rain delay and all, but oh well. Glad I didn't go or I'd be looking at 7-2. Lame.

Monday - Work and improv! Work was fun - My last Monday for quite some time. Improv was cool. There were only four people there, so we were literally in every scene. It was much more enjoyable than I thought it might be! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

Tuesday - My last day of work until further notice, plus the DIERKS BENTLEY concert. Gosh, we had a lot of fun! I am singing 8 million songs today! I wish I could still be there right now... watching rednecks and kicking drinks over.

Now, I think admittance the hospital deserves its own entry.....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

A hot mess

I just got a headache. Perhaps some Jell-O will help.

Well, I met my brother's dog, Turk, today. He was so cute and calm! I can't wait to be responsible enough to have a dog. I would neglect the nonsense out of that thing. I'd need a different lifestyle and home before I could have a dog, but I'm happy to be an aunt to Turk. Dogs are so much fun, but I'm not interested in full- or part-time custody...

I had no idea that they made Pina Colada flavored Jell-O until I fixed it yesterday. It was a little frightening because I've never seen a murky Jell-O, but looks sure can be deceiving. I had some of it a few hours ago and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE!

I need to write my column for the CF newsletter. I always wait until the last minute. I bet it will end up being spectacular, though. I have about eight million topics that will fit, but I'm always hesitant because the audience is comprised of such a variety of people.

My new favorite jam is "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney and Dave Mathews. It almost gives me chills. Maybe I'll listen to it now...

Life is good. Fingers crossed for the doctor tomorrow!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

MOST BEST

Tueeeeeeesday.

Today was a successful day of.....relaxation. I worked from home again today, allowing me extra sleep plus the relief of not commuting for an hour and fifteen minutes. It sure makes the days seem longer and less hectic. And I can work in whatever clothing I choose...

I'm pretty excited right now because I am watching the Braves win. They just scored again. Now I'm simultaneously rooting for the Cubs so that Philly will lose. I promoted my two Braves-jersey-wearing stuffed animals to the bed tonight. I'm pretty sure that's what the team needs right now. Sadly I'm pretty superstitious when it comes to baseball, which is why I used to sleep hugging my foam tomahawk as a child when we were in the playoffs.

Do I have anything exciting to say? Tomorrow I think I'll hit up Starbeezy on the way to work. It's just a fun thing to anticipate in the mornings.

Ooh, Saturday I am rafting down the Chattahoochee, so that should be awesome! I had so much fun last year and I've been looking forward to its sequel. Mwahaha! I hope I don't get eaten by an alligator and, if I do, that would be a courageous way to go down.

Well, bedtime for me. Good night, Braves. Sleep horribly, Phillies.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Tar te tar te tar

That title was me practicing my Irish dialect. I'm actually horrible at it.

I'm meeting some improv friends at 7:00 p.m. to eat Chinese food at a place called Cafe 101. I am such a chunkster at heart. I've already scouted out the menu and I'm pretty sure I've decided what I'll get. I cannot yet reveal my decision. I'm excited to go out with them because I've had a pretty relaxing week and look forward to a little socialization.

Today my sister and I went to the pool for a few hours. It was super-toasty outside - 95 degrees to be specific. There was a family there with obnoxious children. I could have slapped them, honestly.

So, Friday night before the wedding, my date texted me to let me know he had cut his nose shaving in a hurry. I was trying to imagine how this happened, really, but I guess he was shaving his moustache-area and nicked the end of his nose. Well, I figured he had over an hour for it to stop bleeding. He got here and had a paper towel piece stuck on his nose to stop the bleeding. When we got to the wedding, it was still bleeding pretty badly. I mean, within seconds of wiping it, it would bubble up again with blood. We were in the parking lot of the church laughing hysterically, because I was trying to convince him that nobody would notice even though I was lying. We ended up sitting in the back of the church, him constantly dabbing his nose with paper towels. He was afraid people would think he had a drug problem, but I just thought he looked super-emotional, like he was madly in love with the bride or something. Man, it was funny.

Anyway, I've had a good weekend! I'm looking forward to eating _______________.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

What in the heavens???

I can't believe that I came here to write and had no recollection of writing earlier today. That's called finding the muse. I am living in an alternate reality.

I went to Big Lots today. Isn't that funny? I want to laugh when I think about it. How does a person spend $25 at Big Lots? I honestly amaze myself. That's more than I spend at the grocery store, usually. I bought some sketch pads, some canvases (canvi?!), some pens, etc. I was pretty much out of control. I was running amuck in Big Lots. Much like the rat my mother and I saw there when I was in middle school. True story. Different Big Lots.

Seriously, I am about to go eat at El Toro. The Bull. It is going to be so exciting. I am already pumped up about it. It seems like I haven't eaten Mexican food in an eternity, but I actually had it yesterday for lunch. It's pretty neat how I have lost track of all sense in recent days...aka yesterday.

I really need to clean my room when I get home from dinner. It is getting as messy as my mind, but not in a good way. I am intrigued to see what I put on to go out to eat. It ought to be an adventure.

Anyway, time to get some queso poppin' off at The Toro.

Holy rejuvenation

I am just smiling on the inside today. I want to laugh at everything.

Yesterday was incredible. The writing class I went to was literally life-changing. Holy. Mack. Er. Al. I can't even explain it, so I won't try. Just know that I am really excited and woke up feeling like a changed person. Part of me wonders if subliminal messages were playing throughout the duration of the class, but, whatever the case, it worked. WOOOHOOOO! Mark yesterday in your day planner, children.

So, I heard an interesting thing yesterday - "The longer it takes you to do anything, the more screwed up it's going to be." I've never really thought about things that way, but it totally makes sense. I heard, "Think about it - If it took me fourteen months to make a cake, would you really want a piece of it?" For some reason that makes me laugh uncontrollably. How true is that, though? Sometimes people think the amount of time put into something makes it better, but the length of time is irrelevant.

Anyway, I ate some Jell-O this morning. SIDE NOTE.

Tomorrow I have off work and am going to a wedding. Weddings are always interesting to me. It should be fun, and I'm looking forward to it.

Well, have a swell day, and don't bake a fourteen-month cake.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yo Banana Boy

Hi. Did you know that the title of this blog entry is a palindrome? Neat, huh?

Well, I left work early yesterday because I wasn't feeling well. I missed improv and then worked from home today. I am going back into the office tomorrow, and then will be telecommuting Thursday and off on Friday. Hopefully this week will help me get reenergized naturally.

I ate some Moose Tracks yesterday and it was everything I dreamt it would be. Possibly even more. I am totally going to have a bowl of that goodness soon. Perhaps after I take a bubble bath. Pampering myself? You got it!

GUESS WHAT! I am so excited! Tomorrow I am taking a 3.5-hour writing class! Good night, I can't wait. I have been looking forward to this for weeks. I hope I learn some super-valuable information to help with my motivation. And if I don't, perhaps I will be motivated to write about how horrible it was. Anyway, I am ready to learn. I miss school.

I had a Jell-O cooking mishap in my kitchen today. You would have thought a little child was left alone to try to cook Jell-O. I got distracted for what seemed like five seconds, and next thing I knew, Jell-O was overflowing out of the pot. I swear that stuff was flammable. It started bubbling up and the bubble turned brown and it started smoking. In all of this fiasco, I tried to hurriedly get Jell-O into little bowls, spilling it all over the counter. Then, when I was moving the bowls into the fridge, I got Jell-O all over the floor. Sigh. If only I had watched the pot; it would not have boiled.

Time to hop in the tub and eat some Moose Tracks/Jell-O.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Moose tracks

So, I got some Moose Tracks ice cream today and was pretty excited about eating it. I decided to wait until the Braves scored a run to eat the ice cream because I knew I'd probably eat seven bowls if I could eat it whenever I wanted. Well, it's the bottom of the 5th inning now and I am still Moose Trackless. Now it's already so late that I will be up all night if I start eating my MT. I'm not sure why I made this deal with myself, and I have no idea why I haven't just broken the arrangement with myself.

I actually didn't make it to the library yesterday, but I did go today. I had a good time and got six different books. I already read one and I'm about one-fourth of the way done with another. I am pretty excited about them! The library was a madhouse today. The parking lot was almost full and people were in line for computers. My flip flops were squeaking so loudly in the library, so I was having to walk strange.

Yesterday I went to my seventh Braves game of the season and, yes, I still have a perfect record. I am pretty impressed with myself because the Braves' overall record doesn't make a 7-0 personal record easy for me. Well, I'm glad to have continued my winning streak, yet sad that the MOOSE TRACKS ice cream is yelling my name.

I went out last night and got rained on pretty significantly. My hair got pretty stinkin' wet. Then I noticed my high school prom date who I hadn't seen since prom, basically. We started talking and shared some good laughs. His friends were saying I looked like Tina Fey, so that was interesting. Then today I got an Elizabeth Shue, so I am pretty confused. I think I agree with Elizabeth Shue more than any of the others as of late, including Shawn Johnson.

Well, I guess I'm gonna go drink some orange Gatorade and look at the unopened Moose Tracks. SIGH!