Day 1: Do you know why you're here?

Today has been an eventful day at the hospital. I got here at 8:00 a.m. like planned, and the person at registration was extremely confused. She asked if I was supposed to have come yesterday, and I told her that I specifically planned to come at 8:00 a.m. on 8/19, which was why I preregistered on the telephone yesterday. After waiting for 45 minutes in a waiting room, someone came to wheel me to a temporary room while my room floor was being waxed. That was extremely pertinent to get done.

When I was in the temporary room, everyone seemed like they had no idea where I came from, but I could have sworn we made this arrangement last Friday. Finally, at one point, a lady asked if I knew what doctor admitted me. Then, she literally asked, "Do you know why you're here?" I mean, do I look like an idiot? Of course I know why I packed my bags and came to the hospital. There was some kind of miscommunication (always), and they finally realized who I was. Then, a lady with a super-thick accent came in and was telling me she didn't expect me to be so cute. I guess my chart was ugly or something.

Fast-forward a few hours and I've gotten situated in my temporarily permanent room. A guy came to get me in a wheelchair to take me down to x-rays. On the way down, he yawned and I jokingly told him not to fall asleep on me. Then, he told me how he went out for his birthday the night before; they enjoyed Mexican food and the strip club. Good to know. So, I'm down there patiently waiting for my x-ray, decked out in protective gear to keep me from getting sick from anyone, but actually looking deathly contagious. A woman came out looking for Mr. Dotson and started trying to wheel a man away. I was telling her it was me and she proceeded to call this man Mr. Dotson. He had been groaning for the last ten minutes and grunted out that he wasn't Mr. Dotson. I continued to tell her she was looking for me and she forcefully tried to take the guy with her. Finally, on the 332532nd try, she realized that I was the person she was referring to as Mr. Dotson. Then she apologized about 7 times, like I think I actually look like a man. A very small, petite man with long hair and a female voice. I guess she didn't expect me to be so cute, either.

Other than that, nothing too exciting has happened. My mom went down to the food court and got me some legitimate food. I enjoyed some chicken tenders and onion rings. Mmm, healthy!

Wow, remind me knock on wood next time I say nothing exciting has happened. Right after I typed that they started yelling about a nonbreather in the room next to me and calling in code over the intercom. Perhaps I won't say that again, as there are about a million people out in the hall panicking now.

It's been a little while - a chaotic while - but my neighbor got taken to ICU. Well, I'm almost done with this medicine and can't wait to go to sleep. Right as I typed that, the machine beeped to indicate I am finished. I feel like I have super-powers right now. I want a cheese tray. Nope, didn't happen.

BEDTIME!!!!!!