Coffee + Twix

I don't even know how it could possibly be Monday; it seems like I just wrote in here yesterday. But I was wrong.

Saturday I got up and was slightly lazy until it was time to get ready for the Braves game. We grabbed El Toro on the way to the game, which was absolutely delicious. Me, my mom, and my sister went and we sat in front of the most annoying people I may have ever encountered. They were Phillies' fans, so that wasn't much of a surprise. They were just being over-the-top obnoxious and I think anyone would agree. I made some pretty feisty comments, as usual, and thankfully they left once Philly was losing badly enough. My record is 9-2..... AWESOME!

Sunday I got up and went to spin class for the first time in several months. I successfully entered L.A. Fitness, which was great. It's always a coin toss going in there; I'm waiting for the day they stop me. I laid around like a lazy bum for most of Sunday and headed out to my parents' house for a wonderful dinner.

Today I woke up to the biggest disaster I've seen in Atlanta in my life. The amount of rainfall we've seen over the last several days is absolutely ridiculous, so the flooding was out of control. For Spaghetti Junction to have been closed, you know the world is screeching to a halt. I got into work two hours late because I was waiting for the roads to open up. I left work at about 4:15 p.m. to get a head start on the drive that eventually took me 1 hour and 45 minutes. I also had a parking ticket on my car today, so I want to commend the parking attendant who is heartless enough to go around ticketing people on what was already a miserable day for everyone I know. Jerk.

Improv was canceled tonight so my roommate and I hung out and had Gab Fest 2K9. We also went to Coldstone and I decided to get crazy with it tonight - instead of watermelon sorbet/gummy bears I got coffee/Twix. I hate to say it wasn't the best decision I've ever made. I should have gone with the old faithful.

Anyways, I'm heading to sleep. I have to get as much beauty rest as possible because we're taking staff photos tomorrow, barring the monsoon.

Fwhew

What. A. Week.

Well, the latest news is that, when we lost Motorola and Zenith, we appear to have also lost the microwave. Now, I'm actually really angry about that. I'm hoping for a miracle, but it doesn't seem to be very promising. When I try to flip the switch that the microwave is on, there are significant sparks and zapping sounds. Then, the switch flips itself back the other way. This honestly just sounds dangerous. And so did the near electrocution.

Today they announced a recall on my car, so that's also very convenient. Supposedly there are two parts that need to be replaced so that I don't crash. I don't really understand it, but it sounded like it could get ugly.

Last night I went to the Braves game and it was so much fun. After seeing there was only a 10% chance of rain, I dressed in not-rain-appropriate clothing. It rained harder than I've seen in I don't know how long. I ended up having to buy a hoodie. I put it on in the store and walked up to the register and got scanned. The Braves beat the Mets (wooooohooooooo!), bringing me to 8-2 for the season. I'm pretty proud of myself. I am also going to the game tomorrow (against the Phillies), so I'm hoping for the best!

What else? Today I made my post-hospital return to Willy's, so that was pretty eventful. It was what I needed to get me through the day. Last night's game started at about 9:30 p.m., so I wasn't home until close to 1:00 a.m. I definitely drank a Red Bull at work today.

I better go get my silly laundry out of the silly washer. I am really social on Friday nights.

Fruuuuuuuit

Hellllllllllo. I ate a lot today. I'll go ahead and put that out there. I had sushi for lunch, then realized I ate too fast and had time to spare, so I went and got yogurt afterwards. The yogurt was so good - It was mango-flavored and I had pineapple, kiwi, and mango pieces on top of it. Deeeelicious.

Then, yesterday at work, we had a small office celebration, where I munched on just about everthing imaginable, including one of my personal favorites - cheese straws. I also had a beer, and it's just fun to be drinking a beer at work. It feels kind of rebellious the entire time, even though it was sitting there on the table for anyone to take. I was one of only a few people who took one (the only female), but that just shows that I know I'm a hard worker.

I got the worst Charley horse in my left foot yesterday. I mean, I've only had a few in my entire life, but this one was pretty lengthy. It seemed like it was a full two minutes, so it was probably only 30 seconds. I literally felt like my foot might explode. I wish I could articulate the pain in writing.

Roomie and I celebrated with Coldstone last night. She was a sweet angel and brought it home to me, like my little personal shopper. I had watermelon sorbet with gummy bears, like always. I haven't had anything else at Coldstone in at least a year. If it ain't brizzoke, don't fix it.

On Monday I started this plan of drinking more water. Why? Well, I'm in a constant state of dehydration because I very rarely drink water. I have a cup of coffee when I get to work, and then don't even think about drinking until I go to lunch. At lunch, I usually get a water, but then realize when I'm leaving that I forgot about it. On Monday I probably drank between 15 and 20 ounces, which is incredible for me (sadly). Today I forgot about the resolution until a few minutes ago, when I chugged 8 ounces. Maybe I'll be a better H2O-drinker tomorrow.

Shopping success

Well, Saturday I woke up and ate the long-awaited pancakes. It was definitely all that I anticipated... and maybe even more. I had eight pancakes and lots of milk. Mmm, delicious. Need. More.

I then went and did some very unsuccessful shopping at the mall, which resulted in me being in a bad mood, like usual. If I ever go shopping for something in particular, I tend to return home in a very bad mood, usually because I haven't had any luck. I was looking for a dress, which is always tricky, but I also couldn't find a pair of jeans. I mean, how hard is that?

After the initial shopping failure, I went and got my hair did. It seems super-dark and gothic to me, but I'm sure I'm just adjusting. It already looks lighter today. When I got back to my parents' house, my mom and I decided to go fail at shopping again... and we did.

It's funny because then, I got up today and tried one last time - mainly to find a dress - and I happened to like the first one I tried on and found some jeans on one of the first few pairs. It's crazy how that works! Then, when I was checking out, I realized I went to high school with the girl; she threatened to kill me once because someone else was mad at me. While it sounds pretty frightening, I actually thought it was hilarious. I could tell the girl was totally embarrassed and I gave her the benefit of the doubt and acted like I didn't recognize her. Gotta love high school!

Then, I got some cute running shoes, which was really just the icing on the cake. I figured I'd take a stab at looking for some just since I'd been so productive already on the shopping trip. And I love them!

Happy birthday to my friend!

Cowboy Casanova

Let me just say that I love the song "Cowboy Casanova" by Carrie Underwood. I also love "Be On You" by Ne-Yo and Flo Rida. It's kind of funny that my favorite musical genres as of late are country and hip hop. That just goes to show you that I'm awesome, open-minded, fun-loving, and humble.

I have yet to eat pancakes, but I did eat a baked potato and it was pretty incredible. Pancakes are the first thing on tomorrow's to-do list.

Today I was trying to determine my favorite foods. Aside from candy, I have it narrowed down to three foods... 1) Mexican, 2) Pancakes, 3) Grilled Cheese. I don't think I have ever NOT been in the mood for any of those three food items.

So, I somehow managed to forget to bring pants of any kind with me to my parents' house. All I have are the dress pants I wore to work today. I saw one pair of jeans in my room and I can't wait to see if they fit. This isn't quite as bad as the time I came here for Thanksgiving last year and forgot all of my clothes at my house.

I am getting my hair did tomorrow afternoon. The jury's still out on what I will do.... I wish hair grew on trees. Actually, that would be gross. Seriously, though, I tend to keep my hair relatively boring because you can't really undo the damage once it's done. Until it takes three years to get back where you started.

Well, I took last night off of the Braves and am reenergized, but I will change channels before I get unbearably angry.

I <3 Pancakes

It's Thursday, which means tomorrow is Friday, which means it's pretty much the weekend. This is pretty much how an average week goes...

Mondays: My brain takes a while to realize it's Monday.
Tuesdays: The week is practically halfway over.
Wednesdays: Celebration that the week is officially halfway over.
Thursdays: It's basically Friday.
Fridays: It's the weekend!

Then I repeat that mindset over and over again. It actually works out pretty well because it seems like the week never even happened when you measure it in terms of the weekend.

This weekend I am going to stay at my parents' house for relaxation and worthlessness. I am pretty excited because I want some pancakes and I never have the materials to make them (or anything worth anything) at home. Mmmm, pancakes - That's a good breakfast food to eat in the car while driving on the interstate.

Today I went to this little pizza place by my work. I had a personal pizza with blue cheese crumbles, caramelized onions, grilled chicken, and buffalo sauce. It was incredible!

I am feeling a bit better today allergy-wise, although I'm still not 100%. That's a little lame, but at least it's an improvement.

Well, I'm going to figure out about some food.

RIP Zenith and Motorola

Hello.

So, there was a small storm this afternoon and it took the lives of two electronic devices in my house - The Motorola cable box hooked up to the main TV and my roommate's small TV in her bedroom. I feared that the microwave was done for, but I fixed that on the circuit breaker. Unfortunately, those other two items were not as fortunate and I guess were fried in a power surge. It's ironic that my TV and cable box are fine since I hardly ever use them...

While I'm on the topic of weather and natural things, the earthquake last night was actually the repaving of one of the lanes on my road. It was so loud and obnoxious, but thankfully the shaking stopped at a decent hour - the noise didn't.

On the way to work this morning, I literally saw a girl on the interstate eating some kind of breakfast that involved a spoon. It seemed like she was eating cereal, which is not safe. It was a little frightening to pass someone going 70 mph, only to see her lifting a spoon to her mouth. I mean, maybe whatever she was eating was balancing in her lap and she actually had one hand on the wheel. I'm not completely opposed to eating while driving, but preferably something that doesn't involve using silverware... That just seems dangerous. Maybe she should try a granola bar tomorrow. Or grits.

I was actually at the fitness center when the power went out. I was on the treadmill. I had just made an attempt to begin running, when my right knee started really hurting. I stopped and tried to stretch and start again, but it just didn't ease the pain. Thankfully, I was walking when the power went out or I probably would have fallen and knocked out some teeth.

I worked from home this afternoon because I wasn't feeling all that great. I sneezed about 15 times yesterday and was a little congested today, so I think I must be allergic to something. I am missing improv practice right now, which is saddening, but I think I need a relaxing night with an early start to bed.

Anyway, the Braves won last night (!!!!) and are starting to play right now.

Earthquake

So, I was just sitting here in bed and felt like I was shaking. I thought my legs were twitching, but it seemed like I was tremoring all over. Then, I looked at a glass of water sitting by my bed and it was sloshing. I honestly have no clue what's going on, but it's kind of freaky. It seems to have stopped, but it was intermittently shaking for several minutes. I texted my sister to see if her house is shaking since she's so nearby. She hasn't responded; hopefully her house hasn't collapsed already in the quake.

I don't think all of the coffee in the world could have helped me make it through the work day. After being completely and utterly lazy for the last three weeks, returning to work was an extreme challenge. Thankfully one of my coworkers brought me a bag of gummy bears, so that was the only lifeline I had going for me today.

THE BRAVES ARE WINNING. Sorry, I needed to get that out there before they sabatoge themselves.

Tomorrow is 09.09.09. I'm not sure why that kind of excites me - I guess because I'm a dork.

I didn't exercise today, which is kind of lame, but I was just so exhausted by the time I got home from work. Plus, I couldn't sleep last night - I was trying to get to sleep early like it was the first day of school or something, so of course I was just tossing and turning. I definitely plan to exercise tomorrow because I need to maintain this habit from the get-go.

Well, I'm sure tomorrow will be an improvement; returning from any vacation tends to be tough.

I have seriously taken two hours to finish this. That's why it's all over the place. I am just writing one thought at a time and then trying to resume 15 minutes later.... GOOD NIGHT!

Labor Eve Day

Well, tonight offically marks the end of my looooooong leave from work. It really went by pretty quickly, but I'm sure I will have forgotten it in no time by the time I get to work. I have already made a decision to get an iced vanilla latte on the way to work in the morning. I've also already taken an Ambien so I can hopefully sleep through the night. I clearly enjoy substances that regulate my energy levels.

I got up really early today and ran 5 miles. It was a successful run - I felt pretty good and nothing was hurting, which is very rare. Of course my first rib has been aching off and on all day and, ironically, it's the one opposite the one I displaced. Life has a funny way!

Then I prepared for what would end up being a somewhat mediocre pool day. I went to the store and got some snacks, cocktail materials, etc. and came home and got all coolered up. My friend got here a little after 1:00 p.m. and we headed to the pool. Within minutes, the mosquitoes started pool day infestation. We really tried to tough it out, but after ravaging the house, all I had for us was some Benedryl anti-itch gel (that we got to extinguish my sunscreen reaction at the beach). I mean, that helped stop the itching after the mosquitoes had already accomplished their missions. So, pool day didn't last all that long and was mainly spent being paranoid and swatting. Oh well!

The rest of the day was very anticlimactic. In fact, I did nothing except eat two turkey dogs and drink a little Gatorade. Now that's what I call sending the summer off with a bang!

Ooh, one other exciting thing was that I checked my mail today and the county criminal court was looking for another resident that lived here previously. There have been several tenants with records in this place, apparently. I get letters from law offices, letters from court, FedExed letters from CarMax asking for stolen cars back... Wooohooo! I feel like a rebel just living here!

Lids o' Lead

My eyelids are super-heavy right now. I am TIRED! I'm going to go to bed EARLY tonight.

I went for my follow-up doctor's appointment on Friday and it went well. I had to wait for an hour before even being called back into a room. I don't understand why doctors' offices have to make you wait all of the time. I mean, I realize doctors are notorious for running behind schedule, but I'm not sure why they don't just plan appopriately. It seems like, no matter what, they're going to find a way to make you wait - even if you're the first patient of the day. Maybe they think it will make people more appreciative to see them, but I just get ridiculously frustrated and confrontational.

Saturday I went running in my grandmother's neighborhood. I also went and visited my other grandparents, making me 3-for-3 on seeing grandparents yesterday. FUN! Always an adventure... I also had some good bar food for dinner and went to an improv show. Good times!

Today I went to the Braves game. When my friend and I were in line to pick up our tickets at Will Call, a guy came up and asked if we wanted two tickets. I said we already had them, thinking he was a scalper, but then he was like, "Oh okay, I am just trying to get rid of these." Then, as he was walking away, they looked like the good tickets, so I had my friend get out of line and get the tickets. They were 6 rows behind home plate - AWESOME! At least I got to watch that 12-inning loss front-and-center! I also saw a player get hit in the head with the ball and fall to the ground for several minutes. WHAT A DAY! Now my record is 7-2, which is stupid. The Braves are nauseating right now.

I enjoyed El Toro for dinner, so Mexican food was a good end to the day. Tomorrow is Labor Day and then I return to the office Tuesday after 20 days of being out. WOW!!!!!!!!

Finally PICCless!

Yes, you guessed it. I got my PICC line removed today! The end result was/is awesome because I have two useful arms again, but the getting-there part was tricky. The psychotic nurse called at 9:00 a.m. to let me know she was coming at noon. Finally, at about 1:25 p.m., I was getting extremely impatient and called to see where she was and she claimed she was en route. Then, I hadn't heard from her at 2:15 p.m. and was about to blow a gasket. I called her and she said she was about to be there. Just for the sake of being confrontational, I told her I needed to leave to go somewhere 15 minutes AGO. Her response, "Oh, well I'll be there before that." I literally laughed on the phone, thinking, "I hope you're driving the time machine today, moron."

Then, after watching her highly unsuccessful journey into a parking spot, she got out of the car empty-handed. She walked in, started asking me all kinds of personal questions about how much I paid for my place, and then didn't really have anything prepared. She started looking for the stuff she needed and didn't have a suture removal kit for my stitches. So, thankfully, I happened to have one in my bathroom (rainy day activity) so she could perform the procedure for which she actually came. I swear she might have been smashed or something; there's no way she was at her maximum potential. I pray. It took all of my self-control not to be nasty to her.

Oh yeah, and she somehow inadvertently called my cell phone twice while performing the procedure. I didn't understand that one bit. Creeper.

Tonight we went out to eat Mexican for Kev-o's birthday. Deeelicious! I enjoooooooooooyed eating.

I listened to the Braves blow their lead as I drove home and proceeded to get increasingly frustrated through the remaining innings. I want to forget tonight.

Blur

Honestly, I'm sitting here trying to remember what I even did all day. I am getting so good at this unproductive life that I don't even have any recollection of the days anymore; it's all becoming a blur. This is going to be lame because nothing too interesting happened if I'm having to guess my way through the day's highlights...

Well, I got up and did my second to last IV just before 8:00 a.m. I got up again at 10:00 a.m. and did my last IV! Then it seems like maybe I went back to sleep or something. I have no idea. I did eat some Publix brand Frosted Flakes.

I went to the gym just after noon and exercised for over an hour. Then, I think I came back here and ate more... some macaroni and fruit to be exact. I think I got a shower after all of that eating and then went back to sleep.

I got up around 4:00 p.m., did some laundry, watched some trashy courtroom TV, and got ready to go to improv. Then, I went and got a smoothie and had a swell time at practice.

After I got home from improv, I ran in the house super-excited because the Braves rallied within one run of the Marlins. Then, we tied it up in the top of the 9th only to give up a home run in the bottom of the 9th. That was approximately 4 seconds after I sent a text to my brother, stating, "He's so evil it's hard not to trust him," regarding Mike Gonzalez. Oopsy.

Well, I still have my PICC line in, but it is supposedly getting removed tomorrow. I am so ready for this thing to be out of here! At least I don't have to do IVs anymore. I can't wait until tomorrow, my first completely IV-free day. AWESOME!

I remember in September

Can you believe it's September? I don't even know where August went.....

Well, I only have 4 IV antibiotic infusions left. Woohooo! The doctor tried to continue the therapy, but I quickly rejected that idea. It looks like a nurse should be coming to remove my PICC line tomorrow, so I'm really excited to be able to wash my hair with two arms again.

I can't even remember what I did all weekend.... I pretty much watched the Braves and got frustrated more often than not. I did hit up El Toro with mi hermana on Saturday night, so that was fun! My roommate and I made some Jell-O and other productive activities as well.

I have run 5 miles a day since I got out of the hospital, totaling about 40 miles. What a champion! Now try to tell me I need to continue the IV therapy. I like that when the pharmacist called me, she was like, "Well, you won the battle. We're taking it out." WAM, BAM, THANK YOU, MA'AM! I told her that I don't lose; that's just not something I do.

My uncle just came over and brought me Coldstone! I had watermelon sorbet with gummy bears. Deeeeeeelicious!

Gee, I'm super excited because Tim Hudson pitches tonight. I have missed him dearly all season. He is awesome! And he better be...

Hopefully this is my last blog with these silly cords dangling out of my arm...

I guess it's Friday

It's incredible how irrelevant the day of the week is when I'm not working. I guarantee you tomorrow won't be any different from the other days this week, except other people won't be at work. This is probably what it feels like to be retired. It's like the world is at my fingertips; I have no obligations. Except of course for the five IV infusions daily, but I would take this life any day.

Right now I'm watching the Braves play the Philles. I'm pretty confident we're going to win tonight even though we're losing right now. We tend to play well against good teams and then lose to the worst teams in each division. I got so frustrated earlier this weekend that I almost retired for the baseball season as well.

I had two goals for the night - 1) go to Coldstone, 2) win the lottery. Unfortunately it looks like neither is going to happen. I was too lazy to go get ice cream, which is an oxymoron in itself. I also just didn't really have the passion to win the lottery tonight. I mean, if someone handed me a ticket, I'd be down with that, but it's not worth leaving the house. I guess $333 million isn't worth leaving the house to me.

Sometimes I want to hit Ryan Howard in the face.

Well, it's rainy around here lately and I kinda like it, probably because I have nowhere to be. I love listening to the rain!

I guess I'll go shoot a huge syringe into my arm and try not to break the television if the Braves keep this up.

Home sweet home

Well, I came home Monday afternoon. My mom and I celebrated my coming home by going to El Toro for dinner. Unfortunately, I just didn't have the stamina I usually have. These IV antibiotics do a number to your appetite. Believe it or not, I lost almost 5 pounds in the hospital. That's incredible considering how short my stay was. It kind of makes sense, though, because if the IV antibiotics didn't cause me to lose my appetite, the overabundance of gravy would/did.

I was really unproductive yesterday. I did go to Steak and Shake, though, so I can't deem the entire day a waste. I spent a decent bit of time cleaning my room, too. I left it a total mess in the shenanigans leading up to the hospital, so there was a lot of damage to undo.

Today was more productive by far. I got up just before 7:00 a.m. for my first IV, and then got up for good at 9:00 a.m. I went to the fitness center at my complex and did five miles on the treadmill. I averaged 12 minutes per mile, so I spent about half of the time walking and half running. I'd say that's pretty impressive, although I'm already kinda sore. During my time in the hospital, I may have walked a total of half of a mile, all back and forth between using the restroom and pacing in my room.

Then I went to the pool for a while. It was pretty hot outside. I enjoyed myself reading Sein Language by Jerry Seinfeld. This is making me laugh out loud more than any other book I've read. I appreciate his sense of humor. I was just nibbling on Goldfish and giggling at the pool. Much like a small child.

Well, this intravenous drug user is going to wander around the house with no rhyme or reason.

Day 5: Do we need to change your bed?

WHAT A DAY!

Well, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and when I was walking back to bed, there was a gigantic roach walking up the edge of a cabinet. I almost flipped out and stood there for a few minutes strategizing as he made his way up the cabinet. I had one of two options... 1) stay up all night and panic, 2) call the nurse to kill him. So, I called the nurse. She walked in and I informed her of his locale.

At this point, he had walked into a box of sterile gloves. Oh, the irony. So, I let the nurse know that the roach was making a home inside the box of sterile gloves and she began investigating. She was banging those glove boxes around waiting for him to scurry out. I knew he appeared when she let out a shriek and she turned on the water to begin drowning him. She had gloves on and ended up getting a paper towel and grabbing him, turning her glove inside out. So, she carried his half-drowned carcass out in a blue glove, similar to the way a dog's owner carries its feces.

I had a lot of visitors today, so I'm pretty exhausted. It was fun, though. Tiring, but fun. I know some awesome people.

Right as I finished up dinner, I got up to throw a styrofoam cup of water away. I somehow managed to kick the cup out of my hand getting out of bed, so the bed and my pants got soaked. I had to call the nurse and tell her I wet the bed and she came to rescue me with new sheets. She asked what happened and I told her I kicked a cup of water out of my hand. That honestly takes talent.

Other than that, things have been pretty low-key. I've just been pretty tired. Can you imagine being in the same 12 x 18 ft. room for three days without leaving? I haven't left since I got an ultrasound on Thursday. Gee! I guess this is what jail feels like.

Well, I guess I'll go pace some in my cell.

Day 4: Oh yeah, how are your lungs?

So, I woke up in pain again today, but it was in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. It literally hurt to move my head. The doctors have been so busy thinking about all of these side issues that we really haven't thought much about my lungs. I feel as good as I did lungwise before I came here, so that's good since we're fighting different issues now. This is precisely why I don't like going on IV antibiotics. My body just doesn't want them and it's as simple as that.

The good news is that, as the day has progressed, I've been feeling better and better in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. I am finally sitting here not in pain for the first time since Thursday morning. Awesome!

I watched the Braves win tonight, so that was enjoyable. I also got a copy of The Big Lebowski to watch, so that should be fun. I might watch it as I'm getting ready for bed tonight. Why do I say getting ready for bed like I haven't been in bed for 4 days now? Good question.

I had a smoothie for lunch today because lunch was, and I quote my mom, "Meatloaf with some kind of salsa on it." Yeah, I totally passed on that. I don't even know that I touched the lunch tray, to be completely honest. Dinner was better, though. It was salmon. I had some salmon and a bite or two of Jell-O. Homemade Jell-O is much better than Snack Pack Jell-O.

Today was relatively calm, but tomorrow seems like it might be a packed house. A lot of folks want to visit. I hope it doesn't get too crowded because I've been pretty pooped lately on these medications and what not.

Well, I have 24 minutes left on this IV and then I'll see where the night takes me...

Day 3: I drink a lot of chocolate milk

Welcome to Day 3 - another painful day with the PICC line. I woke up in severe pain and it really didn't subside any throughout the day. I was doped up, though, so I was able to sleep through most of it.

Some work friends visited today and brought STEAK NACHOS from Willy's! Even though I was hovering over the toilet about to vomit an hour before they got here, I worked up an appetite in no time. They had to gown- and glove-up for infection control, so it was funny to watch them all eat in those goofy outfits. I, on the other hand, got to eat in pajamas. We had a good time!

One of the doctors worked a ridiculously long shift... like 24 hours at least. I asked him how he stayed up so late and he said he drinks a lot of chocolate milk. From that point on, I gave him a hard time about how rowdy he gets drinking chocolate milk.

I also got the largest gift bag ever today. It's literally probably two feet wide and almost as tall. I laugh when I see it because it's so gigantic. It was filled with all kinds of goodies... gummy bears, a lint roller, a neck pillow, a blanket, a farting keychain, a sticky hand, etc. Gosh, that bag is hilariously large.

Rumor has it that I'll probably go home on Monday. I'm pretty glad about that, but it means I'll administer the IVs myself for two weeks instead of having it as someone else's responsibility. It's a double-edged sword.

There was a thunderstorm tonight, so that was fun to watch.

Day 2: Well, you have been running your mouth a lot

I slept surprisingly well last night, considering I'm in the hospital. An oxygen tank got knocked over in the hallway during the night and that woke me up like a mild earthquake might. For some reason, on this floor, it's necessary to come get blood from me at 4:40 a.m., so there's nothing like a needle going into your arm when you're half asleep. When the nurse came to hook me up for my 6:00 a.m. IV, I told him that my mouth and tongue were numb. With a straight face, he said, "Well, you have been running your mouth a lot. Do you think that has anything to do with it?" I laughed and told him I was also very tired....of him. Just kidding, though; he's a favorite!

I think it's safe to classify my PICC line placement as a disaster. In fact, I'm typing lefthanded because my right arm is out of commission. The actual PICC placement didn't hurt any more than I remember, but it didn't take long for me to realize something was wrong. I don't know if it was the excessive blood or the fact that my entire arm was throbbing. It didn't take long for me to start taking narcotics. The pain was truly unbearable and the pain medication really didn't help much. They ended up sending me down to do an ultrasound to see if there were any blood clots near the PICC line. Looks like it's just bleeding internally. WOOHOOO!

Some friends came by and brought some neat presents, most of which involved dinosaurs! I got these awesome dinosaur figurines that roar. I was thinking it would be fun to page the nurses' station and have one of the dinosaurs roar into the speaker. Perhaps tomorrow. I also got some socks that say SOCK IT TO ME BABY on them! They make me feel so alive. I also got the largest carton of Goldfish ever created. It's gigantic. There were a lot of other cute goodies, too, including some candy, a coloring book, and disposable razors. I got an enormous tube of Dr. Pepper flavored LipSmackers and I keep putting it on, although it is challenging because it is so large.

Honestly, I was so doped up that I'm trying to finish this later, but the entire day was a blur. Thank you, Lortab.

Day 1: Do you know why you're here?

Today has been an eventful day at the hospital. I got here at 8:00 a.m. like planned, and the person at registration was extremely confused. She asked if I was supposed to have come yesterday, and I told her that I specifically planned to come at 8:00 a.m. on 8/19, which was why I preregistered on the telephone yesterday. After waiting for 45 minutes in a waiting room, someone came to wheel me to a temporary room while my room floor was being waxed. That was extremely pertinent to get done.

When I was in the temporary room, everyone seemed like they had no idea where I came from, but I could have sworn we made this arrangement last Friday. Finally, at one point, a lady asked if I knew what doctor admitted me. Then, she literally asked, "Do you know why you're here?" I mean, do I look like an idiot? Of course I know why I packed my bags and came to the hospital. There was some kind of miscommunication (always), and they finally realized who I was. Then, a lady with a super-thick accent came in and was telling me she didn't expect me to be so cute. I guess my chart was ugly or something.

Fast-forward a few hours and I've gotten situated in my temporarily permanent room. A guy came to get me in a wheelchair to take me down to x-rays. On the way down, he yawned and I jokingly told him not to fall asleep on me. Then, he told me how he went out for his birthday the night before; they enjoyed Mexican food and the strip club. Good to know. So, I'm down there patiently waiting for my x-ray, decked out in protective gear to keep me from getting sick from anyone, but actually looking deathly contagious. A woman came out looking for Mr. Dotson and started trying to wheel a man away. I was telling her it was me and she proceeded to call this man Mr. Dotson. He had been groaning for the last ten minutes and grunted out that he wasn't Mr. Dotson. I continued to tell her she was looking for me and she forcefully tried to take the guy with her. Finally, on the 332532nd try, she realized that I was the person she was referring to as Mr. Dotson. Then she apologized about 7 times, like I think I actually look like a man. A very small, petite man with long hair and a female voice. I guess she didn't expect me to be so cute, either.

Other than that, nothing too exciting has happened. My mom went down to the food court and got me some legitimate food. I enjoyed some chicken tenders and onion rings. Mmm, healthy!

Wow, remind me knock on wood next time I say nothing exciting has happened. Right after I typed that they started yelling about a nonbreather in the room next to me and calling in code over the intercom. Perhaps I won't say that again, as there are about a million people out in the hall panicking now.

It's been a little while - a chaotic while - but my neighbor got taken to ICU. Well, I'm almost done with this medicine and can't wait to go to sleep. Right as I typed that, the machine beeped to indicate I am finished. I feel like I have super-powers right now. I want a cheese tray. Nope, didn't happen.

BEDTIME!!!!!!