Yen

Hi!

Well, I am all Cortisoned up since the last time I wrote. The injection went well; it was much easier than last time. It was the exact same procedure, but last time I had no idea what was going to happen. This time, though, I was mentally prepared to feel like my chest was collapsing, so I wasn't concerned when it happened. The soreness seems to be better this time, too, or maybe it's just that I was expecting it... Hopefully it will stop hurting in about 24 hours!

Umm, my friend AM is in town. Awesome! We have kept it pretty low-key, but we did go out to Willy's for lunch and had sushi for dinner with JM. It was like a Dominican Republic reunion. I love dinners with friends!

I'm exhausted because we stayed up really late after her arrival last night (or I guess technically today). We have agreed to sleep in tomorrow... big time!

My new phone is still making me really happy. I learn new tricks all day long!

We haven't figured out yet what we'll do tomorrow night, but I'm sure it will be fun. Cheers to a wonderful 2011, y'all! It's resolution time!

In over my head

Holy headache. I really don't mean to be a complainer, but something is truly wrong with my head. I don't think it's okay that I've had a headache since October 12. The pain gets better and worse throughout the day, but there's never been a time that I thought my headache was gone. It's pretty unfortunate that I don't go to the neurologist until next Monday (the earliest appointment I could get) because I'm starting to think there might be a real problem. Tomorrow I'm going to try to negotiate my way into something sooner because these tingles and warm sensations in my head don't seem like they could signify anything good.

Well, I've been working on my book and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Creative endeavors are hard, especially when you get so close to the work that it's impossible to view it objectively. I'm trying not to let myself read too much of it until I get to a place where I'd be comfortable handing it off. I know from previous experience that I tend to be very hard on myself when it comes to stuff like this, so I'm trying to put that off as long as possible to keep from getting discouraged.

I've had a great couple of days, though. I've noticed that my headache seems to worsen as the day goes on, so I've tried to make the most of the days, knowing that the night might get rough.

Side note: I love the song "Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon 5. I just listened to it twice.

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving! That is so crazy! That reminds me that I am thankful for meeting new people, getting a good night's sleep, and having access to health care.

Well, I think it's about time to take a nap. The light is bothering me more than usual today. I sound like a vampire. I've never jumped on the vampire bandwagon, but I'm pretty sure they don't like light. Happy Sunday!

Y'all wanna see my bruise???

How redneck is that title?! Anyway, the nurse came by to change my PICC line dressing, and look at that craziness! Perhaps if the nurses saw this, they would understand why I said I was in pain. I am honestly fascinated by this bruise... Let me take another moment of silence to reflect on it.

Today was a really great day. I got up to do my early IV, and then I went back to sleep for a few more hours. I got up and did my breathing treatments, and then my brother and Turk arrived here. We watched Major League, which I really enjoyed. About halfway through the movie, the nurse came by, so it held things up a bit. I really loved the company, and the movie was funny, too! Kevin brought me several movies, so I'll probably watch another one tomorrow.

After the boys left, I decided to go for a walk. It was way too nice to walk on the treadmill, so I walked around in my complex for a while. On my walk, my friend (JM) texted when I was right outside her condo, so we visited for a while. After my walk, my uncle came by with Coldstone (raspberry sorbet with gummy bears). Then the roomie and I hung out for a bit, so I had a great day. Plus, I think the Yankees are about to lose!

Well, I guess I'm about to sign off for the night. I'm going to write for a little while before I go to sleep. Good night, world!

Wiffle ball

Hello!

Well, today started out a bit differently than usual. I did sleep in until about 10:00 a.m. Anyway, shortly after I woke up, my friend (PM) from a previous workplace texted me to ask if I could play on his wiffle ball team. They were short some girls and he knew that I lived nearby the field -- and he and I were on the same kickball team once, so he knows I like sports. It sounded intriguing, so I threw on some clothes and made it to the field shortly after the game started.

My first at-bat was a total embarrassment, but I felt pretty solid after that. The first time I hit the ball and started to run, I immediately felt pain in my left hip flexor ... primarily because I didn't stretch, didn't warm-up, and haven't sprinted in quite some time. Then, the second time, I got on base and had major pain in my right hip flexor -- like thought-I-was-gonna-have-to-leave-the-game bad. I ended up scoring that inning and, thankfully, it was the end of the game. I have been in pain ever since, but only on the right side. It mainly hurts when I walk and when I lift my leg for any reason, such as going up the stairs, repositioning myself on the bed/couch. I honestly think that a wiffle ball injury is more humiliating than my infamous cornhole injury. We'll see how it feels in the morning. Oh, it also hurts when I laugh or cough. LAUGH 'TIL YOU COUGH! Needless to say, the wiffle ball incident impeded my exercise goal, but at least I did something active.

The rest of the day has been pretty relaxing. I came home, worked on some mass emails, then watched some college football with my roommate. My friend (JM) and I went out to eat at MiMi's Cafe, and I got meatballs and ravioli. It was good!

Tomorrow is a big day for me! Not only is it my last day before the hospitalization, but I am going to my parents' house for a cookout and then the BRAVES GAME! I am really, really looking forward to it all, which is why I'm getting an early night's sleep.

I've got my Braves pajama shirt on. GO TEAM!

Loving the view from cloud 9

Oh man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Braves just made me so proud! When we were down 4-1 going into the 7th, I've got to admit I was getting a little concerned. Then, WAM BAM, THANK YOU MA'AM to tie it up in the 8th. It took 11 innings, but the Braves and Giants are now tied 1-1 in the 5-game series. Whew! I wish I could articulate how excited I am right now. It's funny because I'm so wound up that I don't even feel tired! It's so similar (yet different) from last night.

So, the Braves lost a very uneventful 1-0 game last night (Thursday...it's Friday in my mind right now). I mean, I think there were seven total hits between both teams and it was basically a pitchers' duel, although Lincecomb definitely outpitched Lowe. Anyway, I was just perturbed because of the umpire's botched call that kept a runner on base -- that particular runner being the only player who scored in the entire game. I literally was up in the night having a conniption fit over it. When I woke up this morning, it was the first thing that crossed my mind. Now, though, that junk is chump change. CHUMP CHANGE! AHH!

SUNDAY CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH! I am exerting so much energy right now.

Well, yesterday (Thursday) was a really great day, despite the game. I received a comment on my blog that made my entire day, if not my whole week. It's incredible that something simple can make a big difference to someone. I find myself feeling so inspired this week. It's odd to imagine the 'woe is me' person I was on Monday when I feel so invincible now.

This morning I saw my cousin (BH) before her appointment with the CF doctor. We went to IHOP and I had a really great breakfast. PANCAKES! I was feeling so appreciative that I left a gigantic tip. Now, I know it's not really generosity if you feel like you need attention for it, but I am trying to illustrate that happiness/positivity really does have a snowball effect.

What else? My sinuses are causing pain in places I've never had it before, such as directly behind my eyeballs and in my cheekbones. I can truly say that I am looking forward to my surgery. RELIEF IS ON THE WAY!

Gosh, I need to chill out. It is 2:00 a.m. I'm going to try to get to sleep, I guess. Tomorrow's gonna be an alarm-free day. Oh, and I think I'll exercise.

LET'S! GO! BRAVES!

Our house. In the middle of the street.

It is late! I need sleep!

I just got home from my first night of training lights at the theatre. It was a lot better than I expected it would be. For one, it didn't take as much out of me as is does when I'm mingling with the patrons. Mainly, though, it was easier than I thought it would be ... probably because my teacher was DA BOMB (KW)! I watched the entire first show and then did (almost) all of the second show with moral support. Awesome!

What else? The stone. I had another bout of kidney stone pain this morning. It wasn't Vicodin-worthy, but it was pain of a there-are-almost-tears-in-my-eyes level. Thankfully I took some ibuprofen and it was pretty short-lived. The anxiety-provoking thing about this is that, now that I know what I'm expecting, I know that the pain should be returning. That is NOT a good feeling! I got some twinges of pain throughout the night, but nothing long-lasting. Let's see how tonight goes!

I had J. Christopher's today. Spinach and bacon skillet in the houuuuuse! It included many things that I believe are on the do-not-eat list, but that's okay. I forgive myself.

Tomorrow evening I have a workshop at the theatre. That being said, I'll probably take it easy all day since the weekend has been a little hectic. I went out last night and was up until about 2:00 a.m., and here I am at the same hour again tonight. What a wild child I am! At least I'm enjoying myself...

The eyelids are heavy, so I better give in and sleep.

Drop it like it's hot.

So, let's backtrack. The last time I wrote in here was Tuesday night when I was in excruciating kidney stone pain. Right after the post, I started chugging water at a very unhealthy speed. As I browsed the web for quick fixes, I read something about olive oil, so I took a swig of it. It didn't really help the situation. At all. The combination of the water and oil had me hovering over the toilet about to vomit. Water and oil don't mix. I thought of that myself. I was feeling sick all throughout the night. Kidney-wise, I didn't feel very good on Wednesday. I planned to go into work but was in too much pain. So, I continued with the narcotics.

By the end of the day yesterday, it felt like the pain had shifted. Then, when I woke up this morning, I was positive that today would be the day. The pain had moved significantly lower and I just had a good feeling about it. My strainer and I headed to work. I took the strainer with me to the bathroom several times and, at one point, I was sitting at my desk and felt a sharp pain. I was positive it was ready. Drumroll.... The stone was cast!

It is so small that I feel wimpy, but someone at the theatre tonight who'd had experience before (working in a hospital) ensured me that it was not. It's my lil baby. I'm still thinking of a name.

My internet and cable also went out and Comcast is coming tomorrow to fix it. I am bewildered by the fact that it is working right now. My A/C is working, too!

On a sad, yet uplifting note, my friend KM passed away early yesterday morning. One would think that her death would be the final piece of news on this bad luck streak. The thing is, though, that she was ready and comfortable with this. She fought a long, hard battle, and assured us all that she was prepared. While it is saddening for a wonderful person to be gone at such a young age, I am confident that she is happier.

Rest in peace.

It's gettin' hot in herrrrr

Where should I even start... I'm going to go stream-of-consciousness with this.

I am in such bad pain right now. This is by far the worst pain I've experienced since the ER on Thursday. It's partially my fault, too. I tried to wean off of the pain pills for work, but I really made a bad decision on trying to tough it out. It's so weird because my pain is an 8 on a 10-point scale, and I hadn't gotten over a 4 since Thursday. I just know it's because I didn't adhere to the pain pill schedule, but frankly I was sick of being out of it. Life goes on. I have taken four Percocets in the last eight hours. It's weird because, when I breathe in, I feel a click in my right kidney. Good or bad? No idea. But painful.

That brings me to my next point, which is that the doctor's appointment today was a complete waste of time and money. I really want to walk into a doctor's appointment and hear something I didn't already know. Telling me to drink water is kind of irrelevant at this point. The doctor told me that he only needed to hear from me if things got worse. Well, his wish came true. Congratulations. He also made it sound like there are more than two of those silly suckers in there. Whateverrrrrrrrrrr.

While I'm being depressing, let's talk about my air conditioner. When I got home from rehearsal last night, it was making a weird clicking noise, much like my kidney is right now. So, today an AC guy was supposed to come out, but he called after 3:00 p.m. to say he wasn't going to make it. Thanks for the heads up, punk. Here I am, it's mid-80s in my house, and my new roommate has seen one disaster after another. I swear I feel bad for everyone who knows me right now.

I was in an improv show tonight. Did I think this was a good decision last night? Yes. Did I think this was a good decision this afternoon? No. I definitely toughed through it, but it was hard to fake it near the end. There were probably about 90 people there, 60ish being under the age of 18. Wow. I played Sounds Like A Song, Dialects, Narration Switch, and Musical Styles. Despite the pill-popping, I had an enjoyable time. It felt good to be back on stage. Honestly, I can't even believe I played Dialects, but I guess that's the bonus of doing a show while taking medication for kidney stones.

I think I might sleep like a baby tonight... on the couch.

I just re-read this post to look for errors since I'm not all here right now. It's amazing how pitiful I sound. I know it's annoying to hear someone who is being negative all the time, but I truly need a free pass to Negativityland right now. Yowzers.

Weight a second

Well, today was a fine day. I really didn't experience much pain at all since I kept myself medicated all day. I only got nauseous a few times and truly only felt some minor pain in my back. That pain was nothing compared to yesterday, though.

The weirdest part of all of this is that I am gaining tons of water weight. Since the stone is just before my bladder, everything isn't flowing through quite like normal. So, I literally weigh five pounds more today than I did a full day ago. Isn't that nutty? I feel like I'm pregnant with a Gatorade baby. It will be GREAT when this is over!

The Braves won today after being swept by the White Sox in a three-game series earlier this week. I was relieved to see that!

Today my mom helped me take my car to get an estimate since I am not really up for driving with these medications. It is truly going to be pretty cheap. I've just gotta work out the details surrounding getting to and from places while the car is getting perfected. I'm relieved that this isn't going to be THAT big of a deal.

As of right now, I plan to work at the theatre tomorrow. If tomorrow is anything like today was, I should be completely fine getting out of the house for a bit to work. I'm only on camera for both shows, so that sounds like it could be easy. My biggest concern is just the drowsiness. I seem to have made vast improvements on the pain front, but I don't want to be dozing during my crew shift. I guess I'll make the final decision tomorrow.

I need to go downstairs to get more Gatorade to add to the rest sitting inside my body waiting. This has to be causing hiccups somehow. I've had them about six times today.

Time for some sleep!

You've gotta be kidneying me

Seriously.

I woke up today and got out of bed, ready to head to the gym. After I'd been standing for a few minutes, I was in excruciating pain. Now, though, it was more localized in my abdomen than in my back. I got in the shower to tough it out, and literally couldn't stand. By the time I got out of the shower, I was just in tears. I called my mom and just started bawling like a tiny little baby.

She was headed out to my place and I couldn't take it anymore. She called my sister, who came to get me so that we could get a head start. We went to Emory because it makes it so much easier for the doctors to know everything about me. I was that person in the ER doubled over, crying out in pain. They got me back to a room and my blood pressure was hovering at 160-something over 100-something.

In all seriousness, it was pretty scary. There were moments when I wasn't sure I was going to make it through. I have never been through pain anywhere near this bad at any point in my life. The central theme throughout the day was that "people say they'd rather have a baby than a kidney stone." I was in a room just bawling and yelling at the top of my lungs for more than an hour. Finally they started giving me IV morphine, which worked for a few minutes and then wore off.

At this point a doctor came in, heard the story, and was pretty sure it was a kidney stone. She ordered another painkiller that's good for stones, and got me scheduled for a CT scan. The painkiller did wonders and I was able to lay flat for the first time all day. I went to get the CT scan which showed two kidney stones. One of them has already made it through the toughest parts and is hanging out just before my bladder. The other's just chilling in my kidney.

I got to come home after 10 long hours, and don't really have to go back unless I vomit, get a fever, or have the severe pain again. It's about time for another pain pill. I'm on four different medications while we wait this out, but it should take care of itself. We're just hoping the second one stays put in my kidney. Jerk.

Thanks to everyone for helping minimize the accident drama from last night. Honestly I've forgotten almost all about it since I didn't get to call the insurance company while in the dungeon.

I've already found a crew shift replacement for tomorrow night, and am going to try to wait it out and attend on Saturday if I'm functioning. I know some folks who are on crew Saturday and I bet someone would drive me (!) if I'm still on all of the medicine.

This has got to be the end of this series of events.

Day 4: Oh yeah, how are your lungs?

So, I woke up in pain again today, but it was in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. It literally hurt to move my head. The doctors have been so busy thinking about all of these side issues that we really haven't thought much about my lungs. I feel as good as I did lungwise before I came here, so that's good since we're fighting different issues now. This is precisely why I don't like going on IV antibiotics. My body just doesn't want them and it's as simple as that.

The good news is that, as the day has progressed, I've been feeling better and better in my PICC line arm as well as my neck. I am finally sitting here not in pain for the first time since Thursday morning. Awesome!

I watched the Braves win tonight, so that was enjoyable. I also got a copy of The Big Lebowski to watch, so that should be fun. I might watch it as I'm getting ready for bed tonight. Why do I say getting ready for bed like I haven't been in bed for 4 days now? Good question.

I had a smoothie for lunch today because lunch was, and I quote my mom, "Meatloaf with some kind of salsa on it." Yeah, I totally passed on that. I don't even know that I touched the lunch tray, to be completely honest. Dinner was better, though. It was salmon. I had some salmon and a bite or two of Jell-O. Homemade Jell-O is much better than Snack Pack Jell-O.

Today was relatively calm, but tomorrow seems like it might be a packed house. A lot of folks want to visit. I hope it doesn't get too crowded because I've been pretty pooped lately on these medications and what not.

Well, I have 24 minutes left on this IV and then I'll see where the night takes me...

Day 3: I drink a lot of chocolate milk

Welcome to Day 3 - another painful day with the PICC line. I woke up in severe pain and it really didn't subside any throughout the day. I was doped up, though, so I was able to sleep through most of it.

Some work friends visited today and brought STEAK NACHOS from Willy's! Even though I was hovering over the toilet about to vomit an hour before they got here, I worked up an appetite in no time. They had to gown- and glove-up for infection control, so it was funny to watch them all eat in those goofy outfits. I, on the other hand, got to eat in pajamas. We had a good time!

One of the doctors worked a ridiculously long shift... like 24 hours at least. I asked him how he stayed up so late and he said he drinks a lot of chocolate milk. From that point on, I gave him a hard time about how rowdy he gets drinking chocolate milk.

I also got the largest gift bag ever today. It's literally probably two feet wide and almost as tall. I laugh when I see it because it's so gigantic. It was filled with all kinds of goodies... gummy bears, a lint roller, a neck pillow, a blanket, a farting keychain, a sticky hand, etc. Gosh, that bag is hilariously large.

Rumor has it that I'll probably go home on Monday. I'm pretty glad about that, but it means I'll administer the IVs myself for two weeks instead of having it as someone else's responsibility. It's a double-edged sword.

There was a thunderstorm tonight, so that was fun to watch.

Day 2: Well, you have been running your mouth a lot

I slept surprisingly well last night, considering I'm in the hospital. An oxygen tank got knocked over in the hallway during the night and that woke me up like a mild earthquake might. For some reason, on this floor, it's necessary to come get blood from me at 4:40 a.m., so there's nothing like a needle going into your arm when you're half asleep. When the nurse came to hook me up for my 6:00 a.m. IV, I told him that my mouth and tongue were numb. With a straight face, he said, "Well, you have been running your mouth a lot. Do you think that has anything to do with it?" I laughed and told him I was also very tired....of him. Just kidding, though; he's a favorite!

I think it's safe to classify my PICC line placement as a disaster. In fact, I'm typing lefthanded because my right arm is out of commission. The actual PICC placement didn't hurt any more than I remember, but it didn't take long for me to realize something was wrong. I don't know if it was the excessive blood or the fact that my entire arm was throbbing. It didn't take long for me to start taking narcotics. The pain was truly unbearable and the pain medication really didn't help much. They ended up sending me down to do an ultrasound to see if there were any blood clots near the PICC line. Looks like it's just bleeding internally. WOOHOOO!

Some friends came by and brought some neat presents, most of which involved dinosaurs! I got these awesome dinosaur figurines that roar. I was thinking it would be fun to page the nurses' station and have one of the dinosaurs roar into the speaker. Perhaps tomorrow. I also got some socks that say SOCK IT TO ME BABY on them! They make me feel so alive. I also got the largest carton of Goldfish ever created. It's gigantic. There were a lot of other cute goodies, too, including some candy, a coloring book, and disposable razors. I got an enormous tube of Dr. Pepper flavored LipSmackers and I keep putting it on, although it is challenging because it is so large.

Honestly, I was so doped up that I'm trying to finish this later, but the entire day was a blur. Thank you, Lortab.